November & December 2011: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

"Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is really just another train coming."

November 2011

I was so thrilled to babysit again!

My ever-so-photogenic siblings
on Thanksgiving

I thought I had made it. At the beginning of November, my energy returned. I was able to drive all over Des Moines, and I did. I went to several craft stores to get supplies for the endless list of Pinterest crafts that I had been longing to do. I drove myself to babysit on Tuesday mornings. My mom and I celebrated our six-month anniversary of being gluten-free by eating out at P.F. Chang's. On November 15, my sister and I saw the Broadway production of "Wicked." It was amazing! During the performance, I noticed that my nausea level had dropped to a two! I wanted to cancel the appointment in Iowa City, but my mom insisted that we keep it as a back up plan. It was rescheduled to January 23, 2012. Both my mom and I were confident though that by January I would be completely nausea-free. I was learning to stay away from not only gluten, but also greasy foods and sweet foods. However, the coming of the holidays made it hard to stay away from all the baked wonderfulness that comes with Thanksgiving and Christmas. My family and I went to the East Village's (a small shopping district downtown) holiday open house, where we bumped in to Nurse T. from my pediatrician (Dr. S.)'s office. She told us that she had been reading all the reports that were coming in from other doctors about me. It was so great to tell her that I was feeling better! I felt very thankful on Thanksgiving. My grandma had cooked a gluten-free Thanksgiving feast, and it was delicious. I wasn't even upset by the level two nausea that followed the meal; I was just thankful that it was a level two. My mom, sister, and I went Black Friday shopping for the first time the next morning at 3:00 a.m. It was exhausting, but fun. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, we went back to my grandparents' for the annual 50 pound candy making day. For over 30 years, my grandma has been making 50 pounds homemade chocolate candy. Along with my aunt and her daughter, we make peanut butter cups, turtles, chocolate dipped pretzels and Oreos, caramels, solids, knock-off Butterfingers, and cream filled chocolates. Candy making is one of my favorite holiday traditions! I could eat almost everything that we made, and we were all careful with cross-contamination.
 I was still "pushing past the nausea" to eat, but I got gotten used to the bigger portion amounts. Since I was trying to eat more, I found comments about my appearance very irksome. I knew I had lost weight; I had lost about 18 pounds by this point. I did not need to be reminded by various people about how skinny I looked. Comments such as, "Do you feel well? You are so thin," and "Have you gained any weight?" and "You must have 0% body fat," and "Oh, I can see it in your face" were not wanted, welcomed, or appreciated. I laughed it off at first, but after a while I was really starting to get annoyed. I came up with several snappy comebacks, but I was never tough enough to use them. I was feeling better, and that was the only thing that mattered to me.
 December brought "Advent by Candlelight", a ladies-only Christmas tradition that our church puts on during the Advent season. Since I couldn't feast on the buffet of desserts, my mom bought individual slices of cake from Specialty Cakes--an Iowa business that creates gluten-free cakes for special occasions. The cake was good, but the company of my two dear friends Elizabeth and Isabelle made the night great. We laughed so hard that my right side was aching with phantom pain. I didn't care though, it felt so great to actually throw my head back and laugh until tears came. I couldn't remember the last time I had done that.
December 10-12 brought my first gluten-free vacation to Wisconsin. My dad, brother, and my brother's girlfriend (now wife) Meghan were going to a Green Bay Packer game with my uncle. While they were at the game, my mom and I had plans to shop at the Oshkosh outlet mall! We did our research and found gluten-free restaurants on the way to Wisconsin and in Oshkosh. Surprisingly, Wendy's has a great gluten-free menu. They even have a page about celiac disease on their website. I was able to eat a broccoli and cheese baked potato and a salad at Wendy's, and two meals at local restaurants in Wisconsin. My nausea level stayed at a two so I knew that I had not been cross-contaminated with gluten.
 I bought my first Coach purse at the Coach Outlet Store in the mall! I got an incredible deal; my mom and I were in the store for an hour and half double checking that the deal was legit. In between finding safe restaurants and my Coach purse, I would definitely say that my first gluten-free vacation was a success!

:)

Back in Des Moines, the Christmas season was moving quickly. I have always been very excited about Christmas, but Christmas of 2011 was different. I was starting to worry about my nausea level not dropping; it had been over a month since it went to a two. In addition to this, I started having daily headaches that not even extra strength Tylenol would get rid of. When we got back from Wisconsin, I began to have trouble eating more. I couldn't put my finger on what was different, but eating had suddenly become very unpleasant again. Finally, I realized that I lost my sense of taste. I could not taste anything. As I test, I tried eating garlic and jalapeño hummus. I couldn't even taste those strong flavors. I felt bad when my mom made me a new gluten-free dish that I couldn't taste. I wanted to give her encouragement, so I often said, "the texture was good." The headaches were starting to get worse. Reading and staring at the computer screen did not help so I found myself bored a lot. I went to the eye doctor to see if my eyes were the problem, but they were not.
 I was still taking cyproheptadine, to increase my appetite, but the constipation side effects were staring to really bother me. My mom called Nurse J (the male nurse in my GI doctor's office) who told us that I could stop taking it. The headaches and loss of taste were still present. I was beyond discouraged. Here it was, almost the end of 2011, and my condition seemed to be slowly getting worse. Would I have to go to Iowa City in January? I started to pray even harder than I already was that I would not have to go.

Grandpa with his present

 The festivities of Christmas Eve church, rushing home, changing into pajamas, and opening presents distracted me from how I was feeling. On Christmas Day, we went up to my grandparents for lunch (I still couldn't taste anything, but I'm sure it tasted good) and opening more presents. I wanted to do something special for my grandparents. They had been so faithful over the year with all their texts, calls, money after surgery, and Grandma's delicious gluten-free baking that she did for me. I made my grandma an apron that said "Grandma's Gluten-Free Goodies", and I made my grandpa a plaque with a picture of him holding me when I was a newborn. I knew they would like their gifts, but I was not expecting my grandpa (former Marine and hardcore farmer) to cry when he opened my gift.
 After the distraction of Christmas was over, my headaches were starting to get to me. I had an appointment with my endocrinologist in January which would show if my thyroid levels were contributing to my headaches. Until then, I was determined to stay busy.

New Year's Eve 2011: I always have mixed feelings at the end of the year; especially this year. 2011 had been a challenge. A celiac disease diagnosis, countless tests, adding "endocrinologist" to the list of doctors who were trying to figure out what was wrong, a doctor who ran out of ideas, a doctor switch, more tests, surgery, pushing past nausea to eat, and unending nausea. It had been a very long year, and I was ready to start fresh. At the same time, I was terrified at what 2012 would bring. I tried to trust in God and not worry about the future, but I could not stop the nagging feeling of dread. My head constantly pounded, I couldn't taste anything, and my stomach was still upset.
 My family's tradition on New Year's Eve is to stay up until midnight to ring in the new year. My mom always makes fun snacks, and we watch the countdown in New York City. As the night wore on, I began to feel worse. I was freezing cold even though I was wearing multiple layers and wrapped in a fleece robe. I was more nauseous than I had been in a very long time, and my body ached all over. With these new symptoms, I went to bed wondering what 2012 would bring as I would wake up the next morning in a new year. Looking back on my journey now, I'm glad I didn't know what was coming in 2012. If I had known......

TO BE CONTINUED..............